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Animated Atrocities 112/Transcript
WOW, it certainly has been a while, hasn't it? I mean it: not only hasn't been, like, a month since my last Animated Atrocity, but it's been an entire YEAR since I reviewed an episode of SpongeBob, and that was a re-review! One of the saddest things about being an adult is how fast the months and years seem to fly, as the seasons in even the days of the week seem to blend together, but I think it's about time to rectify both of those problems. This is "Someone's in the Kitchen with Sandy", and yeah, it's quite an annoying one. Let's dive right in, shall we? It starts off like SO many other bad episodes in the later seasons: Plankton trying to get the Krabby Patty formula through a convoluted scheme. It gets to the point where I don't even really know what the plan is supposed to be anymore. So, Plankton is planning to be served in the Krabby Patty by hiding in one of the buns. Plankton: Perfect, he's headed for the front door. Was he planning for SpongeBob to make the Krabby Patty and throw it outside the front door? the plan really hide in the bakery all day to just grab a patty and run? Something he's done before? Why would Plankton think the Patty would go anywhere BUT to a customer inside the restaurant? It's the first scene and ALREADY the problems are piling up! The customer that SpongeBob delivers the patty to is Sandy Cheeks! And she seals the patty inside her suit and Plankton along with it. And we get a nice shot of Sandy eating disgustingly. --that's gross-- This lasts until Plankton nearly suffocates to death and faints. It takes her what, like, ten minutes to walk from the Krusty Krab to her home? YEAH, Plankton be dead! Otherly(?) least brain-damaged. What happens next is one of the most STUPID plot points in any episode of SpongeBob. Sandy takes off her fur! Okay, why? I mean, this makes no logical sense on any level! First of all, in all other episodes has it ever been shown that Sandy's fur came off, or needed to? Second of all, it looks kind of impossible, even when it COMES to cartoon logic! And thirdly, it's... needlessly impractical. Why wash both the skin and fur seperately when they're supposed to be stuck together, and you can WASH them together? It would be a lot faster and it would make a lot of sense. Oh, I know why the fur comes off; this episode needs a stupid plot device! The shower ends up filling Sandy's helmet with water and reviving Plankton. Plankton: What in Neptune's ocean is that repulsive thing?! Yeah, half of this episode is DEFINITELY a Sandy torture porn. It ends up being extremely cruel to her for largely no reason. As you might have guessed, this isn't an episode where she needlessly does cruel and monstrous experiments or messes with fish life in any way whatsoever. Hell, she even has a personality beyond karate or science in this episode! The only thing she's done to warrant all the pain she gets in the episode is to eat a Krabby Patty and try to take a shower. The other half of this episode... it's a ripoff of "Imitation Krabs". What is with that episode!? In Season 7 alone, there are three episodes that directly rip off "Imitation Krabs": "Shellback Shenanigans", "Grandma's Secret Recipe" and "Someone's in the Kitchen with Sandy". stutters I have no idea. I mean, "Imitation Krabs" is a fine episode! It was decent, but I don't think it's like a tour de force or anything. It was a pretty good episode of SpongeBob. It's not something like "Band Geeks" or "Chocolate with Nuts". Then I might understand them trying to rip it off 50 different times! of "Pineapple Fever" off of: Club Spongebob And yeah, a lot of other episodes that aren't the greatest ever get ripped off, but that's usually a one-time thing. What makes "Imitation Krabs" so special that it has three ripoffs in this one season alone? Karen: Oh no. You can't be serious. Plankton: As serious as a shark attack. That's racist! Sandy finds that her fur is stolen and she's been locked in the bathroom. That doesn't stop her for long, though and now she's pissed. Meanwhile, Plankton turns Sandy's fur into a robot, to predictable results. Everyone in town becomes an absolute idiot, and doesn't realize the obvious. "Imitation Krabs" worked, because SpongeBob was the only one that the robot interacted with. And as we all know, SpongeBob's not the brightest bulb in the socket, not even during the earlier seasons... So, Plankton goes to the Krusty Krab and in a 'perfect disguise' he orders a Krabby Patty. Wait, no, he asks to be shown how a Krabby Patty is made. Why? I mean, in many, many episode, INCLUDING THIS ONE, it's shown that all Plankton has to do is to get a Krabby Patty outside the restaurant and then he's clear! Wouldn't it be much smarter if Plankton just ordered a patty? Sandy did that earlier in the episode; it's obviously not impossible. Even if you wanted to tell this plot again, the "Imitation Krabs" story, you could do it just easily. Instead of what happens later, just have all these obstacles keep Plankton from leaving the restaurant or getting home. Instead of delaying the creation of the patty. And on top of that, if you want that route, this episode wouldn't be so much of a rehash. And, of course, SpongeBob believes that Plankton is Sandy... Now, here's something that's really stupid: SpongeBob explicitly tells Sandy that he can't tell the formula, and then he says that he can show her everything else about making the patty. That's not the stupid part. The stupid part is that Plankton goes along with it! So, Plankton is here, because SpongeBob is going to tell him every single part, except the one part that he wants to know. The ONLY part that SpongeBob isn't going to tell him is the most important part, and Plankton wants to waste time with this. Like, telling your friend everything about skydiving, but failing to mention that he doesn't have a parachute; he only has a backpack. As a vehicle for jokes, well, I think Plankton says it perfectly himself! Plankton: himself Aaugh! This is getting so tedious! Yeah, every joke here is incredibly stupid and they go on FOREVER! HALF of the episode is like this! As for the other part of the episode, it's a little bit more interesting, but in the worst way possible. Sandy is going through Bikini Bottom in her underwear looking for her pelt. Sandy: That no-good who nabbed my pelt surely came here. Probably wanted to cash it in on the Bikini Bottom black market. Oh, Bikini Bottom has a black market. Wait, what the FUCK!? Sandy asks people if anyone has seen her fur, and then they burst out laughing. You probably didn't need me to tell you that the female fish of Bikini Bottom tend to wear EXACTLY what Sandy is wearing right now, just a bikini set? It can't be the color either, as some of the fish are pink, just like Sandy is. Also, besides losing her fur, which is something that fish don't have and shouldn't really be knowledgeable about, Sandy isn't wearing much less than she usually wears. And another thing: Sandy has her 'space suit' as SpongeBob called it. Plankton didn't take that! Only the helmet. these respective scenes, captions that say, Chimpunk, Rat, Goat, and Ferret appear onscreen. Harold: Lookit! A naked chipmunk! Random Fish: Aren't you ashamed of having your pink rat flesh exposed? Police: Hey, look! A hairless goat! Random Fish: A nudist ferret! What do all THESE animals have in common? That's right, kids! None of these are underwater animals, and none of the citizens of Bikini Bottom should have ever heard of any of these. You know, SpongeBob isn't the only cartoon to do this exact plot, where a character gets their clothes stolen and they must hide and sneak around. Even Samurai Jack did it. So, there's definitely potential here. You CAN do this plot correctly, but you've got to do more than just having random characters point and laugh. Episodes like these are more about avoiding embarrassment than actually being embarrassed. It works best when their character tries to HIDE their nudity, but ends up in other embarrassing or awkward situations, like putting on a totally ridiculous outfit. I mean, Sandy tries to put on seaweed, but it doesn't look humorous and it's gone before anything really happens with it. After a heat vent destroys Sandy's seaweed, some cops point and laugh at her. Now, HERE'S a really stupid part: these exact cops end up arresting Sandy at the end of the episode, because public nudity is against the law, even though at that exact time Plankton is... naked and he's been naked the entire episode. are these two cops AT ALL? Like, WHAT THE HELL? This episode is trying to tell the worst jokes, and they don't even work in the logic that the episode itself sets up! I mean, this joke might work a bit better, if the cops were of a different model at the end, but, no. I-it's the exact same cops who did nothing earlier! they're pallet swapped in what looks like a last second attempt to fix a problem that shouldn't even be here. Switching the colors does not make it better. Why didn't they arrest her right there on the spot!? What was the point, except prolonging Sandy's cruelty!? A lot of bad episodes of SpongeBob seemed that the entire concept of logic shit on a character, but THIS ONE, it takes the cake. If it's not boring you with... whatever the hell THIS is, it's constantly making you cringe at the pain and humiliation that Sandy's forced to go through. AND it ends with Sandy getting arrested! I can only presume, because Ms. Puff isn't in the episode. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna try to figure out what's on the Bikini Bottom Black Market. Category:Animated Atrocities Category:Transcripts Category:Season 4